would have my own bed (so I can go to bed showerless sometimes)
would wake up early in the morning
and go to bed early at night
would get around to watch a movie, any movie
would make and cook dinner every night
would have a tidy table
would finish the storybook that I've had for more than four months now
would have fitting underwear (this is an issue, I need to go shopping soon)
would be a perfecto pianist (but I'm getting there, I think)
would have my p's and driving to and back from uni everyday
all this is to say, I wish I was in more control of my life. most of this is really all my fault and all up to me, so I really need to get a grip of myself and get a good move on. some of it, I can't control. dissatisfied, I am, and I just feel like all dissatisfaction is throwing me into a bottomless pit. it just doesn't help, that those around me, are almost encouraging that lol. at least that's how I feel right now, though I know I'm probably wrong and shouldn't feel this way.