on sunday it was raining. mum was off to mount buller, and in the morning she half-convinced me to skip church this week instead, because she couldn't drive me there. at about 8:05, I realised it was probably my turn to do the projector job at mass. so I got right out of bed, brushed my teeth, put on some clothes and shoes for good measure and rushed out the door! honestly half the time as I was walking I had to rub my eyes a few times, because I was still in that sleepy, blurry eyed phase of the morning. it was quite hilarious, as you could imagine. I wonder what I looked like to passersby.
then I got to church, and was told that it wasn't my turn. false alarm, ah well. but I was glad I made it to church. our Father talked about a movie he had watched during the week called 'heaven is real'. right after church, I checked out the times for the movie, but unfortunately I couldn't make it cause I had discipleship with the girls. as I was walking home on the main street, a car stopped beside me. it was errol, the head of st vincents at our church -- the organisation I was part of but quit recently. he smiled, said hi and asked me if I wanted a ride home. it was cold, I declined, but was touched that some good feelings still remained between us, hah.
I didn't get out of the house until 12:15. I was in a rush, it was raining, and I felt dreary. most likely cause I had an essay due the next day, that I hadn't even started yet. part of me asked, is this discipleship thing really worth going today? am I just going to be superficial about it today, because of this mood I'm in? so I got there, after a quick pizza takeaway, and I was right. throughout the whole thing, I just didn't seem in it, and I realised... I was so spiritually and emotionally bankrupt. even as I led the opening prayer and the closing prayer, my heart just wasn't in it. and it sounded so fake to my ears, because my heart wasn't there with God.
for that I felt so frustrated with myself, and as I left the place... that's when I called you. so I wrote a bit of my essay when I got to the library (about half an hour later because bus is infrequent during weekends), and left the place at 5pm when the library closed. bought some groceries for the week, and that was about it. it was really quite an uneventful day, but eventful in some ways.
I don't know if you actually read all this, and if you did, I've got both of thumbs up for you right now. I'm not sure why I wrote all of this... but there's my sunday.