I am trying to plant other perspective in my head... perspective from Kung Kung, perspective from Popo, perspective from EE. I know they have all the reason to worry, because I'm their precious, I'm their loved one. with that at the back of my mind, I'm trying to plant their perspectives and let them blend in with mine.
but the more I do it, sunny, the more I see control instead of worry. as in, yes, they can worry, but there is this distinction, this line of 'yes, they can worry, but I can't let each and every one of their worry direct each and every one of my decision'. a worry is care, a worry is love, but a worry is not a right. it's not a right to make me feel so enclosed, so hammered in, so doubtful of me. at least, it shouldn't be a right.
I'm not sure if they know how I feel. I'm trying to imagine how hard it is on them, and all I can think about is relieving them of that. but relieving them of that would mean making it twice as hard for myself. so selfish of me, right? there has to be a medium, there has to be an in-between, there has to be a compromise... but right now? there has to be extremes first. at least... I hope that's how it goes.