received a whatsapp from EE tonight (after she reminded me in our call to read it), saying that she's too annoyed and frustrated to say anything, so she shall remain quiet instead. which, hey, is fine by me. but I've decided, that if she wishes to make her mind made known, that's fine too. I will remain unmoved and unaffected by it -- of course, I will be all ears, but I won't get angry over it. I'm sick of getting frustrated of making people frustrated at me. it's enough.
it's like, they're pushing me away, man. as if saying, 'hey, we don't like this part of you, I want a refund.' and honestly, I feel more and more like myself everyday. but having this, this daily reminder, is as if saying, 'dude, you're on the wrong path and you're being the wrong person'. yes, I admit, I should've handled last night better, should have thought it through and kept my worry-prone grandmother lukewarm in my mind before I made the call, which I thought would have made her feel less worried. but it seems like I'm just bouncing things back at myself lately.