You, of course.
You, and you only. And about what you're going through right now. About twenty thoughts were going through my head at the same time, but not one of them said 'ask sunny to forgive, look past it and accept'. And it's probably bad of me, but it just feels wrong to ask you to accept something you clearly have been struggling to come to grips with for the past week or two. So I'm not going to do that. There are just certain things we can't "look past", after all.
Being a wonderful person that you are, I'm sure many of the church friends you surround yourself with are also good people like you are. I think, that's why this is hard. There are so many facets that make up a person, and the friends that you are disappointed in right now, I'm sure have many good qualities and are good in many ways. But this, this thing they did/have been doing, is a thorn. A thorn which none of the good qualities can seem to redeem. It's true, we judge people based on their decisions -- some we look past because of their circumstances, but when it's by choice and not by circumstance, it's hard to accept the entirety of their being, despite all their good qualities and mannerisms.
I wish I could hug you right now, sunny. I wish I could physically give you comfort, and make your swollen heart feel a little less bruised. Just know, I'm always here as a listening ear. In fact, I want to listen sunny. I'm always here for you, even when no one seems to be. Even if you just want to chat, I'm here to chat about anything and everything. How awesome I am, for instance. I don't believe we've talked about that quite enough. ;)