Mum kinda hurt me big time last night. Ahahaha, surprise surprise right. Sophia had invited me over to her place for a sleepover this coming week. Upon reading her message, I asked mum last night over dinner and she straight up said no. No. When I asked why, she said that she had vowed not to let me sleep over again after she picked me up from rach's last time. It just seemed unfair to me, that she had just straight up said no without considering it. I know parents say no all the time, sunny, for good reasons.
I know, but it hurts, because she hadn't even considered it, hadn't even given it a second thought, and just shut me down. What hurts even more is that she doesn't trust me not to make the same mistake again three years ago, that nearly cost me my friendship. She is using something from three years ago, and it just seemed unjustified in some ways. Of course she used Kung Kung and Popo as back-ups, who gave reasons that weren't even concerns to mum, like "it's not part of our chinese culture". It just seemed that apart from what happened years ago, she didn't have any other reason to say no.
But you know what, I actually surprised myself last night. After dinner, I remained calm and was even pleasant and friendly towards her, Kung Kung and Popo. Usually I'd give her to silent treatment, which is how I deal with my frustrations 98% of the time. But not last night. Somehow I managed to subconsciously make a division between the issue and my relationship with them. I was so cool, sunny. Instead of giving people cold shoulders, I was able to engage in a normal conversation without a tinge of sarcasm, dissatisfaction or anger. Almost too cool, but I liked this version of me. I wasn't trying to fake it, it almost came as natural to me as scratching an itch after you've been stung by a mosquito.