just want to take a moment tonight to just breathe, and be myself for a minute here. haha. just finished up a 90mins visual arts exam, and have now got back to my main campus, to do some studying till 9pm (when the library closes). I'm tired, exhausted, I'll admit, but even within that there's a desire to succeed. and it's not one of those overachieving I want to succeed! I must succeed! desire. just wanting to succeed, because I know I can if I put in the work sort of thing.
and the fact that I don't want to waste my near four thousand dollars per semester education, so, you know, gotta put in the hard work.
there are moments in the day where I feel overwhelmed. like, today when I finished an essay and then the teacher turns around and says, 'hey, here's the book that we want you to include in your essay, two days before it's due' like it's no problem, even though my whole essay is done, referenced and near edited. so to include the book is like to essentially rewrite at least half my essay. which I've got no time, no energy for. times likes these... it's just frustrating. a little bit. when the world seems to hand you more lemons than you have juicers for. my tastebuds for lemons are near numb, I tell you, haha.
but other than that, I know that once I get through these three weeks, I'll feel much more relaxed, and that feeling is nice. sure, there are times when things seem impossible, people seem impossible... but I have to remind myself that I'm possible.