It's a lesson that I'm learning more and more of as the days go by. I realised, recently, that I don't have to be apologetic for doing the things that I do, for putting myself first and making the things I love as priorities. I know, I know, it's not rocket science, and probably many many have figured this out already... but this is my first time stumbling across this. I've learned that it's important to put myself first, because it's simply not healthy to prioritise others' expectations, thoughts and feelings and casting away my own in the process.
This means worrying less about what others think, and focusing instead on what makes me happy. Like, for instance, today I stumbled into Aaron. Same time last week as well. Today, he needed to rush for his train, and before the tram got to a halt, he said to me, 'come, run for the train with me'. I could have made up excuses like, "I need to do a stop by the shops," but I didn't. Instead, I said, "I'd rather take my time." Later, at the platform, he whisked past me, and I, having seen him, could have called after him, and rode the train together, like we did last week. But, well, I just kinda ignored him.
In all honesty, I wanted to travel the train alone, and read a book I just started a few days ago and been really enjoying. A year ago, if I had done that (ignored someone on purpose), I would have felt plain awful. But today? I was okay with it. I was sticking to my own guns, doing what I knew I would like the best, and not feeling any qualms of guilt at all. And it felt nice, sunny, it did. Did I enjoy reading my book the whole ride through? You betcha I did.