I know I'm not the only one, but when you struggle with something as big as purpose, it can feel like you're the only one. I try to be positive about all things, live in the now, but it's hard when you have this feeling that you're not doing it right because what is your darn purpose? you ask yourself. Growing up, I guess, I've always felt the expectations to excel and know exactly what I'm doing (because that is always what I've done and been about for as long as I can remember), so it honestly felt that there was no room to fail. At all.
Had a chat with Kung Kung recently, asking him what he was like when he was 19. And he said, in Cantonese, mong ha mong ha. And you know what? It felt nice, to know that even my wise old seventy plus grandpa had states where he didn't know exactly where he was going + was perfectly fine with it. It made me feel better. I know I can't go about my days worrying about purpose all the time... it's certainly not how I'm going to find it, whatever it is.