self-love / hate

Sometime ago, while I was trying to productively procrastinate (if there was such a thing), I set myself to make lists. The first task was to list down all the things that I love about myself. I found that, after a minute or so, I couldn't think of anything... I stopped writing. I moved on the next list, and that was things I'd like to change about myself/my life.

And wow. I just kept writing, and writing. After I was finally finished, I sat back and looked at the two lists. The 'changes' list was much, much, much longer than the 'love' list. Looking at the disproportionate contrast in their length, I was never more aware of how dissatisfied I was with myself. Was I being ungrateful? Was I being discontent? Was I just an overall negative person? I didn't think so, but these two lists certainly said otherwise.

Since then, I've tried to practise more self-love on the daily. Sure, there are changes we'd all like to implement into our lives, and there are just stuff lying about us (and our lives) that we just want to change. right. now. But constantly desiring that won't make our lives any better. Instead, we should really love ourselves more, be okay with our lives the way it is (doesn't mean it's immune to change)... just like Bruno Mars had put it simply, just the way we are.