“Got my head spinnin’… no kiddin’… I can’t pin you down…” — All Of Me, John Legend
I’ve talked about this on the blog a few times… but I keep coming back to it for some reason. Hiding the inner thoughts. It’s wrong, but lately, I’ve been feeling the need to do it with family… specifically with Papa and Mummy. I’ve been thinking about how to hide my inner thoughts + feelings, without seeming cold… and settled that the only way to do it was to treat them as though they were strangers. Treat them with the sort of niceness that I would to strangers. Wouldn’t that make things easier?
I realised that that would make me somewhat fake, especially to my own parents… but lately, I feel like it’s the only way. It’s almost like… I don’t want to give them anything to pin me down on. It’s so darn defensive, I’m almost afraid of these thoughts. But believe it or not… I’m going to try and give this a go this week.