In the same way that you find a long lost, untouched Nokia brick phone from 2004, then take your shiny, slim HTC out from your pocket... and think to yourself, "wow, so much has changed" -- that's a fragment of what I've been feeling recently. It took some time, actually, to realise these changes... for a few days, I was wondering, "wow, this is new". It's not to say that I changed without noticing -- no, these actions I took were deliberate... but it's nice to notice the results at the end road.
So what are they, exactly?
- A few months ago, I couldn't not go on Facebook. I had a reflex in my fingers to instantaneously type f-a-c-e the moment I open up the browser. Realising I had a problem, I took Vietnam up as an opportunity to derail myself from it. A month later, quick as it was, I now only log onto Facebook once every few days... and it's now often at the back of my mind now. This control, you might call it, is not something I have to force myself to do... but just something I want to do. I feel free without it.
- I've quit instagram and blogging... for now. My account, my blog, still exist. I haven't deleted them, but merely am putting them on hold for now to focus on better things in life rather than being online all the time. I'm keeping a journal instead, and intend to get back into taking photos again, either from a point-and-shoot in hand or lens with better capabilities (as motivation).
- I'm practising the art of non-instantenous replying. (Doesn't apply to you, of course.) I used to reply (or feel the need to reply) to messages immediately, right after reading them. With that, I realised, I drew expectations on myself, from myself and from others. So today? I set aside time, once or twice a day to reply... or a few hours after I get the message. I'm grateful for this distance I've carved out.
- I'm learning to make promises that I can only keep. Commitments including catch-ups, meetings and work. It's still a learning process for me... and I've realised that in order to keep to this, I need to be more wary of how I divide my time and how I'd like to divide it.
- I'm learning to please myself, instead of pleasing others. It's great when both go hand in hand... but sometimes, they just don't. And it's okay. Am I doing something so I could have a greater bond with this person? Am I doing this because I think it'll make me look like/be a happy person? A key part of this, I've realised, is to be myself and defining what happiness, or rather, wholeness, feels/sounds/looks like to me.
So there you go, what's been going in michelle's head 101. Session out, over to you.